Transition

Well, after living 3 of the past 4 years in Finland, I'm planning on moving to Romania in September. While I was there a few weeks ago, God spoke very clearly that this is the next step for me, and this autumn is the time for that step. Honestly I wasn't shocked; though the timing came as a bit of a surprise. I know that this move to Romania, to work with the poor (networks.org.ro), will bring together a number of different things God's been doing with me over the past years - worship and prayer, missional communities, intentional discipleship, and development economics (among other things).

That makes this a time of transition, and it's been pretty interesting so far - lots of communicating and processing. Getting accepted to university here also added to the processing, though it was never gonna change my decision. But God has been good in all of this, and I know that this is an opportunity to get to know Him in new ways and for Him to work in my heart. I'm doing my best to submit to the process.

Tomorrow I'm going back to England for a month, after which I'll have about a month left in Finland. That is a pretty crazy thought, though it hasn't really sunk in yet. I'm anticipating there will be a whole lot more processing (emotional and mental) to do before I head off to Romania, and on one level it will be a sad time - Finland will always be one of my homes, but it's gonna be different now. One challenge already is to be really present here for the remaining time, while I know that in some sense the cloud has already moved, and I must pack up and follow it. 

So, after nearly 4 years of this blog, I've decided to wrap this one up and start a new blog. Right now seems to be a time of transition for me in a number of ways, and I figured the blog could follow suit. It's been funny to look back at stuff I wrote when I first moved to Helsinki back in 2008; so much has changed since then. I think it's good to leave that behind now, and to step into the new things God has for me. Thanks to all who've read my ramblings over the years.

So, you can find the new blog at http://johnswindingroad.blogspot.fi/ (I'll try to actually write something there fairly soon)

Following

Recently one particular idea has been coming up repeatedly, in conversations and in books I'm reading (particularly Bonhoeffer's 'Cost of Discipleship'). In short, it is that discipleship is adherence to Jesus - not to values, principles, ideologies, locations, or people. In following Jesus, I've found that, in many areas, just applying principles or following what others do isn't enough and may lead me down the wrong path. Only in listening to and obeying Jesus can I walk the path He has for me. 

At it's core, the call to follow Jesus is a call to relationship with Jesus. Yet so often I can actually use principles to separate me from a 'dangerous proximity' to Jesus. I can become so invested in plans and strategies that I cut myself off from hearing His voice and simply following Him. For example, by simply adhering to principles relating to money, I can end up missing out on relating to God around the subject of my finances. Because, in the end, God is looking at my heart, at the insecurities and fears that I may be reluctant to let go of. 

Of course, a life lived by following rules, principles and other 'wiser' people sounds much easier and safer. But I know that I'm called to follow Jesus and obey Him above all else.

Small is Beautiful

This week I finished reading a book called "Small is Beautiful - Economics as if People Mattered" by E.F. Schumacher. It's been an amazingly interesting read, particularly as I'm currently applying to study economics here in Helsinki. In the book, the author challenges many of the assumptions upon which modern economics is based, and hence the foundations upon which today's society is built. It was truly refreshing to read, as well as challenging and inspiring. 

There are many passages that are almost prophetic in their picture of the direction things are heading (the book was written in 1973). The author's clear thinking and even basic commonsense challenged many basic assumptions that I picked up in studying economics at school. One such assumption is the idea that endless economic growth equals success, no matter the costs to society. There can therefore never be 'enough'; greed and envy become our gods. The author refers to a quote from John Maynard Keynes (the most influential economist of the 20th century), who anticipated that the day could come when everyone would be rich. However, this day hadn't arrived, and until it did, Keynes had this advice, "For at least another hundred years we must pretend to ourselves and to every one that fair is foul and foul is fair; for foul is useful and fair is not. Avarice and usury and precaution must be our gods for a little longer still. For only they can lead us out of the tunnel of economic necessity into daylight."


Although the author frequently refers to his perspective as 'Buddhist economics', the book most often quoted is the Bible. One passage that really fascinated me was the author's application of the Sermon on the Mount to economics. This clearly goes against all mainstream economics today, yet it gives a picture of sustainability and justice which we are sorely in need of today. 


So, I'm really hoping I get accepted to Uni to study more. Economics seems to be something that God's given me a passion for, and it seems to me that there need to be people who are willing to stand up and go against the flow. 

Psalm 139 (the angry bit)

On Tuesday evening we gathered as a community in our apartment to eat, talk, worship, pray and share together. I made risotto (for the first time), which did taste pretty good, although I succeeded in burning some of it.

Later in the evening we were discussed a couple of Bible passages in groups. Our group was given Psalm 139 to read, reflect on and share any thoughts that came up. It was suggested that we could leave out the tough bit (verses 19 -22), where David clearly gets pretty angry, and focus on the rest of the Psalm.

This meant that I ended up focusing on verses 19-22. God's been talking to me recently about aggression and anger, and that it's an important part of being a man. "Be angry, and do not sin" as Paul says. This is an area that I've always found hard, but God has been working in me and bringing healing to this area. It's been challenging a lot of my assumptions.

So I began to look at these verses - there's some pretty strong stuff. Apparently David "hates them (the wicked) with perfect hatred." I was wondering, "what is it that gets David so angry?" Let's remember: this is in the middle of some beautiful stuff about God's perfect knowledge of us, His always being with us, His forming our beings and His precious thoughts towards us.

Then verse 20 stuck out - (referring to the wicked) "They speak against You wickedly; Your enemies take Your name in vain." It struck me that what seems to get David angry is that these people misrepresent God and His character. It then occurred to me that this is the heart of Jesus' rage at the Pharisees - they speak about God, but totally misrepresent His character and nature. Perhaps this is what gets Jesus so angry in those passages.

David knew God really well - reading through the Psalms you can see the depth of revelation he had. And of course Jesus knew the Father deeply and intimately. Therefore it really mattered to them who people believed God to be. May the same be true of me.

Fling Wide

I was talking with a friend this week, reflecting on the process God has us in at the moment. For both of us, God has been going deep in our hearts, bringing healing and life. For me, this has involved God bringing up memories and bringing healing to them, shining light on areas of my heart I have never noticed before.

As we talked, I was reminded that God told me in January that this process He's taking me through would go very deep, and I'd feel like a bit of a mess in the middle of it. The picture of someone in surgery fits quite well - half way through, things look pretty horrible. But that is an inevitable and vital part of the process.

What is key at this point is to keep placing my before God. In the introduction of 'Celebration of Discipline', Richard Foster writes that point of the disciplines is that we continue to place our hearts before God. It is so easy for me just to go through the motions of prayer, for example, without truly placing my heart before God.

During this process so far, there have definitely been times where I feel like a total mess, and I don't particularly feel like placing my heart before God. It takes a conscious choice against my own comfort. Yet, by God's grace, I'm able to keep placing my heart before Him. For me to be fully alive, for me to be fully abandoned to Jesus, I know there is more God needs to do. I'm convinced the end is worth the process - Jesus, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross.

Before God began this process, I had over a number of months been asking for Him to transform me. One particular album - 'Fling Wide' by Misty Edwards - just so perfectly captured this. Pretty much every time I put it on in the prayer room I got wrecked; it just summed up my heart so well. This week I remembered again that this is truly the cry of my heart, despite what my flesh may feel. I'm determined that I'll come out of the wilderness leaning on my Beloved more fully.

"Fling wide the door to my soul
Open up the door to my heart
Have your way, have your way
Have your way"

Two years on...

On this day two years ago, I had a pretty crazy experience. After flying from London to Chicago, I spent about 3 hours in security, and then got put on the next flight back to London. It was a pretty horrible experience, although now with hindsight it all seems kinda hard to believe it happened, and it seems more like a good story than anything else.

But at the time there were many questions that arose - I was going back for the last 3 months of an internship I was part of, and I was engaged to a girl there. Honestly, that day began the hardest period in my relationship with God so far. So many things in me were shaken, and I had a really hard time believing that God is good. For a number of months I kinda just drifted, and it wasn't really until moving back to Finland, and the BURN tour we did that summer, that things shifted.

Over the past two years, God has shed more and more light on what actually happened, and answered a number of my questions; there are still plenty of 'what if' questions that I may never know the answer to. The most important revelation for me was seeing God's goodness in what happened. I saw in my mind Jesus sat next to me in that waiting room, as I was about to be escorted by border police onto the plane via a police car (I can't help but smile at the thought of that now). As I saw this, I heard Jesus speak to me, words of love and healing.

So for me this story is one of God's goodness in the midst of doubt, confusion and pain. It is a story that will always remind me that God is good, even when it feels like the opposite is true.

About 18 months ago, I wrote a song about this called "I am with you". You can hear it here: http://soundcloud.com/john-allison

2012 so far...

It's been a while since I wrote anything on here. It seems like a lot has been going on so far this year, but when I really think about it, it's hard to say what. Yeah, there have been conferences and meetings, some really inspiring stuff. Then our community in Jakomäki has been getting into some kind of rhythm of life, and I've been trying to work out what it means to lead this community. That's meant lots of learning so far, and I know there's loads more to come.

But I guess mainly the last 6 weeks or so have been dominated by stuff God's been doing in my heart. On January 1, at GearUp (a young adults conference we had here over New Year's), God told me that a process was beginning. From what He said, I knew that this was gonna be some deep stuff - and so far it certainly has. There are things in my heart that God has showed me that I never expected to find. Questions have cut to the core of me that I thought I already had the answer to. And still in all of it I have known God with me, speaking to me, teaching me and healing me.

So I guess I'm looking forward to what this year will bring, and wondering quite where this process will take me...

A few thoughts from Romania

I thought I'd share a few thoughts from my trip to Şiria, Romania. I was there for about 6 days, getting to know people who are part of a missions team called Networks, and getting to see some of what they do. There are around 50 people there, some long term staff and others who are part of a missions training program.

Firstly, it was amazing just to spend time with some of these people, who are all so passionate about following Jesus and seeing His Kingdom come - I felt so at home among them. I took part in a couple of classes with people doing missions training, which I really enjoyed. They are very intentional about discipleship, and there seemed to be an atmosphere of real openness and learning. It was great getting to know some people there, and I was pretty inspired and challenged by the way they live.

I spent one day with one group visiting an area called Alfa. The residents of the area are Roma people, and they live in 'huts' made of whatever materials are around, which is pretty crazy considering how cold it was. A few of us went to visit a guy who they'd given a guitar to a few weeks before. He was a really amazing guitarist, but hadn't owned a guitar for some time. I got to spend some time playing music with him, which was really cool. The group also gave out flour to people, and we got to pray for one lady, who had lung problems, and apparently she felt God touch her as we prayed. It was pretty eye-opening to be there, as I've maybe only been in that sort of environment once before (in Macedonia this summer).

During the week there I got to worship with people a number of times, including at their Sunday gathering. I love getting to worship and pray with people - somehow you see their hearts. And getting the chance to inspire people in worship is such a privilege. I also got to go up this mountain (or big hill) nearby, where there's ruins of a 13th century castle, and I prayed and worshiped up there (which was great).

So, overall, I had a wonderful time, and I'm pretty sure I'll be back at some point. It seems God's put something in my heart for the Balkans, we'll see what plans He has for the future...

Off to Romania...

On Monday I'm flying from Helsinki to Budapest, then getting a train to Arad, Romania. I'll be spending a week there, visiting some friends I met this summer at the 24/7 Balkan gathering in Ohrid, Macedonia. They are part of a charity called Networks that "are involved in helping the poorest of the poor in northwest Romania." For more on the work, visit http://networks.org.ro/

I'm going mainly to connect with people there, find out more about their work, and spend time worshiping and praying with them. This will be my first visit to Romania, and I'm pretty excited about it.

Feel free to pray into the trip - for provision, traveling mercies, and that God plans for the trip would fully come to pass.

To love God with my mind

I'm currently planning to do a degree in 'biblical and missional theology' - see here for more details on the actual course. My plan is to start the course in January, although I'm trying to sort out some of the practical and funding details at the moment. I would be part of an organisation called ICY, who facilitate this course in Europe.

So why would I want to do this course? Well, firstly I feel that it will give me a lot of skills I will need in the future, in particular in terms of leadership, mission and building communities. Although I don't have a very clear picture of my future, I'm quite sure it will involve these things. I've also realised that I'm quite passionate about getting deeper in my understanding of Who God is, the Bible, mission, and the Church. The idea of doing courses such as "Pioneering Leadership for the Missional Church" seems pretty exciting to me. These subjects are all so linked, and there's so much to explore - as many have said, our Christology should shape our missiology, which should in turn shape our ecclesiology.

I've been reading "What Saint Paul Really Said" by N.T. Wright recently, and it's been challenging my thinking on a range of different subjects, such as Saul's agenda before his conversion, the message of the gospel, who Paul believed Jesus is, the righteousness of God, justification and more. But one line in particular stood out to me a few weeks ago - "The language of theology, properly understood, gives birth to the language of love." Studying theology for me is about going deeper in the knowledge of God, both in my intellect and in my heart. I want to know God, Who is love.

"Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence."
Matt 22:37 (the Message)

Spontaneous trip to Joensuu

A week ago I was part of a workshop on 24/7 Prayer at a mission-themed conference in Helsinki. While there, I met a guy called Janne from Joensuu (around a 6 hour drive north-east of Helsinki), who is part of a community of young people there. A couple of days later they were starting their first prayer week. I mentioned that it would be cool to visit them some time, and in response Janne offered that I could get a lift with them the next day on their way back to Joensuu. I figured that I could potentially do it, so I asked God if I should go. His response was a pretty clear "Yes". I also asked what day to come back, and God suggested Thursday.

So, on Sunday morning, myself and Jenni (who's also part of our Jakomäki community) went to Joensuu. Jenni stayed until Tuesday morning, and I left on Thursday afternoon. We kinda just joined in with the life of the community there. Essentially, it's a group of friends from a few different parts of the Church in Joensuu. Some are involved with a 'media team', which has a house where they make music, videos and various other stuff (and Janne also lives there). Some of the community are also involved with running a youth cafe for the young people in the city. One room in the youth cafe building was used as the prayer room for the week.

So, we spent time getting to know some people from the community, eating, seeing some of Joensuu and just hanging out there. In addition to all this, we were privileged to take part in their first prayer week. It was so great to be there for the first couple of hours in the prayer room with around 10 others, aware that God is really up to something here. I filled in some open slots, maybe an hour or two each day. It was wonderful to see the room fill up with artwork and written prayers, and to see people really enthusiastic about getting to spend time in the prayer room. It seems quite clear that this won't be the last prayer week they host.

I really enjoyed being there, getting to spend time praying for Joensuu and the community, and getting to connect with people there. I also got to record one of my songs in the Media house's studio with Janne - you can hear it here: http://soundcloud.com/john-allison/john-allison-the-boat-song So all in all it was a great 5 days.

Stand up

From the sixth to the ninth of October, people from all over Europe gathered in Frankfurt for 24/7 Prayer's Eurogathering, and I was privileged to be there. It was a truly wonderful time of worship, prayer, sharing vision and inspiration, and meeting family.

I arrived in the hall at the beginning of the first meeting, and it was full of people on their knees, silently listening to God. As I quickly joined in, I felt God say that He had brought me here to show me that there is hope for Europe, and that the people in this hall would become family to me.

By the end of the gathering, I'd heard many stories of different communities across Europe who are praying, reaching out, and living to see their cities, nations, continent and world transformed. Truly, I could see that there is still hope for Europe, and that these people, ordinary yet set-apart people, are truly family to me. After meeting many amazing people, and knowing that there were many more I didn't get a chance to talk with, I know that these are people I want to walk with and learn from.

The gathering was called 'Aufstehen' ('stand up' in German), and I was both inspired and challenged by the call to stand up. Hearing from people in places like Greece and Spain, where there is a great deal of pressure right now, was pretty inspiring. I was also very inspired by hearing about various 'Boiler Room communities' across Europe, and also attending a seminar on building communities. There is so much to learn, and I guess most of it really has to be learned in practice. It really challenged my thinking about the developing community here in Jakomäki, and I'm looking forward to how things will develop.

I also had the privilege of being part of the worship team in the main sessions, made up several different nations, most of whom had never played together. The 3 worship leaders were from Macedonia, Spain and Greece, and getting to be part of it all was so much fun. Some of the leaders of 24/7 Prayer in Europe also shared during the main sessions, and it was really inspiring and challenging stuff. I was particularly challenged by Brian Heasley, who's lived and worked and prayed in Ibiza for several years.

Amongst it all, there was time to just chat and get to know people, which was really great. Meeting people who are so real and 'down-to-earth' and yet so passionately following Jesus was wonderful.

Ultimately, I left Frankfurt longing to see change - in myself, in Jakomäki, in Finland, in Europe and across the world. And I pray that this longing will again draw me into prayer and action, into careful listening and wholehearted obedience. We need to stand up.

Svendborg, Denmark

In the evening of Thursday 29th September, I was flying back from Copenhagen to Helsinki, looking back on the previous 4 days. I'd traveled to Svendborg that Monday to do some teaching at a YWAM DTS, and it was one of my first real experiences of that sort of teaching. In the weeks beforehand I'd taken some time to prepare for the teaching on the subject of worship. It's a subject very close to my heart, and I was aware that more than sharing merely concepts or ideas, I wanted to share my heart.

So, after a brief time of getting to know each other and a bit of an introduction on the first evening, the next morning it dawned on me just how much of a challenge this was. That day I had roughly 6 hours in which to share with the 5 students, and I was pretty daunted. Then I felt God speak to me from Jeremiah 1:5-9 that He would put the words in my mouth, and I simply had to share what He gave me to share.

So, on my journey home, several things were pretty clear in my mind.
Firstly, I loved getting to share my heart with the students, and being able to interact with them around God's Word and various concepts. Getting to share about something I'm passionate about and see it inspire and challenge them was really great.
Secondly, just meeting members of this wonderful family of God was great. I feel like I also learned a lot from just being around the staff and students there, and it was inspiring to see what God is doing in people in our generation.
Finally, I am overwhelmed at the privilege of it all - to share my heart and talk about worship and ultimately God, to speak into people's lives, to be able to bless and encourage and inspire people. I'm really looking forward to the opportunities God has for me in the future.

Imitating Daddy

God's been talking to me a lot about childlikeness recently, and it has amazed me how it affects so many areas of life. I've recently read a book called "Dangerous Wonder" by Michael Yaconelli, and in the book he addresses many different ways in which we must "become like little children". This book has provoked me to really look into how I can learn to live like this, and I'd really recommend it.

Anyway, today this verse really jumped out at me - "Therefore be imitators of God as dear children." (Eph 5:1) It made me think about how little children naturally imitate their parents, and so much of their learning is done by imitation. Now obviously this takes humility - too easily I think I know how to do everything and that my way is best. So I must become like a little child, humbly observe what my Father does, and simply imitate.

After reading the verse, I pictured in my mind a man digging a hole in the garden, while his small son is crouching down next to him with a small spade digging a little hole too. The man includes his son in digging, and although it's clear to anyone else that the boy isn't moving much soil, that isn't what's really important.

I think this is a pretty similar to how we are to live with our Heavenly Father. Sure the hole we dig may not seem very impressive, but our Father is so proud of our attempts. And as we continue to imitate Him, we will learn to better imitate Him. Jesus, our example, said, "The Son can't independently do a thing, only what he sees the Father doing. What the Father does, the Son does. The Father loves the Son and includes him in everything he is doing." (John 5:19, MSG)

I read this on my friend Ella's blog today from the Message version of Matt. 11:28-30 (see http://pellavasmith.blogspot.com/ for more)

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

BURN Tour 2011

Looking back at the 9 days of the tour, I'm pretty amazed at what happened. Before getting on to any of the ministry we did, the team itself, which grew to about 22 people during the trip, was such a living representation of God's family. There was such care, love, forgiveness and unity among the group which had a wide range of ages, personalities and giftings, and God seemed to have placed each person in the right role for them. I believe that this atmosphere of joy, love, freedom and family that we carried as a group had an impact on the places we visited.

The meetings that we held in each place were marked by these things as well. There were people who led worship and did teaching, but beyond that in each meeting different members of the team would step forward with what they sensed God wanted to do. There was such an ebb and flow about team - people could freely move from playing music to prayer ministry to releasing prophetic words.

Personally, the chance to travel around Finland, worshiping God and interceding for the nation, with a family of people with the same heart was simply amazing. This stuff is a big part of what I was made to do. Of course there were challenges involved, and it was also a learning experience. I feel like I'm gonna be involved with these sorts of tours more in the future, so this was an invaluable experience, being surrounded by people who I could learn so much from.

It was also such a privilege to see more of what God is doing in Finland, and I really feel there is so much more to come. Throughout the tour we saw that God is releasing joy, freedom and healing to Finland, restoring men to their place and uniting men and women, and restoring families and the Church as His family. We were able to glimpse something of this, and we look forward with expectancy to what is to come.

For other people's stories from the tour, check out http://burntourfinland.blogspot.com/

Tour starts tomorrow...

Tomorrow, on 24/7, a group of 18 of us will begin an 8-day tour of five places in Finland, with another team member meeting us in Tampere, our first stop. It seems crazy that it's starting tomorrow - it's been on my list of things coming up for nearly a year now. I'm really excited about the tour - we have an amazing group of people, and the tour is focused on prophetic worship and intercession, which i'm pretty passionate about. It's such a privilege to be part of this tour and to be part of what God is doing here.

Your prayers for the tour would be more than welcome, as we will be leading a number of gatherings and the logistics of moving 19 people around Finland, feeding them and giving them a place to stay are not simple!
We have a blog for the tour - http://burntourfinland.blogspot.com/ and it'll probably have a mixture of Finnish and English posts.

The epic roadtrip

It's now a few weeks since we returned from our Eastern European journey. The trip was truly amazing - so many sights, sounds, experiences and encounters. I thought I'd just share a few thoughts and stories from the trip.

On the very first day of the trip in Tartu, Estonia, we spent a couple of hours worshiping and praying with some local Christians. At some point we began praying for the city and the nation, and then it suddenly hit me that we'd have to opportunity to do that in every place we would visit. I felt so privileged. And throughout the trip we worshiped and prayed in so many places, including while in the van on the road.

One of my favourite stories was from Kaunas, Lithuania. We were singing and worshiping together in a park, and a lady and her son (called Tomas) came and listened. The lady asked if they could stay and listen, as Tomas (who was blind) loved music. So we continued worshiping, and ended up praying for Tomas and his mum. Then we asked if Tomas would like to play my guitar. So I formed the chord shapes, and Tomas strummed the guitar, and he was so happy. After a while, Tomas began to sing as he played the guitar. It was a truly beautiful moment.

We met so many amazing people on the trip. Despite not sharing a common language with many of them, we were really able to connect with them. This included a group of older people in Hungary at the place we stayed, and kids at a pre-school run for Roma children in Skopje, Macedonia. And at the Balkans Connect gathering in Ohrid, we met loads of people with such similar hearts to ours. It was awesome to stand with them in praying for their nations and for the Balkans region.

Perhaps the best part for me was the community traveling together. It was so great to travel with such an amazing group of people. We spent lots of time praying together (whether for each other or the places we visited) and worshiping together (including ukulele worship in Toivo - our van). And of course we ate together, spent hours and hours in the van together, and went through the odd stressful moment getting lost. It was an intense time, but really good, learning to love each other even when we see each other's weaknesses.

I really loved Eastern Europe, and I hope I'll be back there again soon.

Road-trip anticipation

This Sunday (5th June), the group of 7 of us will start our road trip to Macedonia. I can't quite believe it's so soon. I've never visited any of the countries we will be visiting, and I'm pretty excited about seeing lots of new places. God seems to have especially placed Europe on my heart, and I feel sure that this trip will be significant.

On our way to Macedonia we will be stopping and staying a couple of days in Estonia, Lithuania, Poland, and Hungary. Our journey back to Finland will include visiting Bulgaria, Serbia, Slovakia, Poland again (probably including visiting Auschwitz), Latvia, and finally back to Finland via the ferry from Estonia.

Between all this traveling we'll be spending a few days in Skopje, Macedonia, and then in Ohrid, where we'll be part of 24/7 Prayer Balkan gathering. There will be people from over 10 countries, and we'll be worshiping, sharing our hearts, and just spending time together.

Psalm 84 seems very relevant at the moment - "Blessed are those whose strength is in You, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage." I think a major theme of this Psalm is that God's presence is our home, that we can choose to dwell in His house. His presence is where we belong.

One the things I'm most excited about is the chance to travel together as a group, to worship and pray together, and see what God has planned for us in each place we visit. I'm sure there will be challenging moments, but I know there's a lot God wants to do in each of our hearts through the experience.

We have a blog for the trip, so you can follow what's going on along the way - http://joyinthevan.blogspot.com/

Bring it on!

A future shaped by the hands that formed the universe...

Recently, while praying with someone, God showed me this picture. I thought it summed things up so well that I'd share it with you.

There was a lump of clay on a wheel that God was shaping. As I was watching, I suddenly thought I'd figured out what God was making. Hastily I pushed in front of Him and tried to form what I thought He was making. Pretty soon, however, I was just left with a bit of a mess.

Two things became very clear (1) I have a very poor understanding of exactly what God is making and (2) even if I knew exactly what God is forming, I am completely incapable of producing that result.

This really highlighted for me that trying to plan the future and make things happen in my strength is really pretty futile. God's plans are so much more beautiful than what I can imagine, and full of so many intricate details that I could never come up with.

I guess, as with so many things, it comes down to trust. Am I willing to leave the clay in God's infinitely skillful hands and amazingly creative imagination? Do I really trust that His plans for me are really perfect, designed with total knowledge of what I really need? Am I ready to let go of control, and allow the Creator to form my life into what He has always dreamed it could be?

Dancing

A few weeks ago someone told me that God wants me to know that He loves it when I dance for Him. While I probably kinda knew that deep down, it was still pretty amazing to hear. Now to be clear, I'm pretty sure I don't have a lot of natural talent for dancing. But I do really enjoy worshiping God with dance, although that hasn't always been the case.

It all really started about a year and a half ago while I was in Oklahoma. I was at a 24-hour BURN in - essentially 24 hours of worship. After about 4 or 5 hours of just worshiping, I felt God tell me to dance, and I knew He meant 'floaty' dancing, that kinda 'un-cool' sort of dancing. I had little intention of doing that, so I tried to dismiss the thought. The thought just kept coming though, along with reminders of times I'd told God I'd do anything for Him and even one time I'd told God He could even take my dignity! I was at the front of the church building, and I knew I was about to look like an idiot.

Eventually I saw I was fighting a losing battle, so I gave in and made up about 10 seconds of generic 'floaty' dancing, finishing nicely on my knees. God then told me to dance some more, so I got up and danced again for maybe 30 seconds. One more time God said the same thing, so I then just completely surrendered and danced freely for about 5 minutes or so. I've rarely felt that free, it was an amazing feeling. So since then every so often I've had the opportunity to dance in worship, and sometimes I've lost the battle with my self-consciousness, and other times won.

Now clearly I love to worship with music - it's probably how I express myself best, and it can be so much fun to play and sing. But there's something about dancing for me that is a little bit different. I guess it could be because when I dance, it's completely for God, I really don't dance apart from to worship Him. And when I play music, others may enjoy that, but I'm fairly sure my dancing isn't great to watch. David's example in 2 Samuel 6 inspires me, where he said “It was before the LORD". He simply didn't care what anyone else was thinking of him.

So now sometimes in the prayer room here in Jakomäki I put on a cd and dance before God, knowing that He loves it when I dance for Him. Recently I've been dancing along to 'JOY' from IHOP Awakenings, and yes, it is great fun. But I'm dancing in adoration for the Eternal King who delights in me, why shouldn't that be fun?

This is the first song from that album