On this day two years ago, I had a pretty crazy experience. After flying from London to Chicago, I spent about 3 hours in security, and then got put on the next flight back to London. It was a pretty horrible experience, although now with hindsight it all seems kinda hard to believe it happened, and it seems more like a good story than anything else.
But at the time there were many questions that arose - I was going back for the last 3 months of an internship I was part of, and I was engaged to a girl there. Honestly, that day began the hardest period in my relationship with God so far. So many things in me were shaken, and I had a really hard time believing that God is good. For a number of months I kinda just drifted, and it wasn't really until moving back to Finland, and the BURN tour we did that summer, that things shifted.
Over the past two years, God has shed more and more light on what actually happened, and answered a number of my questions; there are still plenty of 'what if' questions that I may never know the answer to. The most important revelation for me was seeing God's goodness in what happened. I saw in my mind Jesus sat next to me in that waiting room, as I was about to be escorted by border police onto the plane via a police car (I can't help but smile at the thought of that now). As I saw this, I heard Jesus speak to me, words of love and healing.
So for me this story is one of God's goodness in the midst of doubt, confusion and pain. It is a story that will always remind me that God is good, even when it feels like the opposite is true.
About 18 months ago, I wrote a song about this called "I am with you". You can hear it here: http://soundcloud.com/john-allison
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