Two years on...

On this day two years ago, I had a pretty crazy experience. After flying from London to Chicago, I spent about 3 hours in security, and then got put on the next flight back to London. It was a pretty horrible experience, although now with hindsight it all seems kinda hard to believe it happened, and it seems more like a good story than anything else.

But at the time there were many questions that arose - I was going back for the last 3 months of an internship I was part of, and I was engaged to a girl there. Honestly, that day began the hardest period in my relationship with God so far. So many things in me were shaken, and I had a really hard time believing that God is good. For a number of months I kinda just drifted, and it wasn't really until moving back to Finland, and the BURN tour we did that summer, that things shifted.

Over the past two years, God has shed more and more light on what actually happened, and answered a number of my questions; there are still plenty of 'what if' questions that I may never know the answer to. The most important revelation for me was seeing God's goodness in what happened. I saw in my mind Jesus sat next to me in that waiting room, as I was about to be escorted by border police onto the plane via a police car (I can't help but smile at the thought of that now). As I saw this, I heard Jesus speak to me, words of love and healing.

So for me this story is one of God's goodness in the midst of doubt, confusion and pain. It is a story that will always remind me that God is good, even when it feels like the opposite is true.

About 18 months ago, I wrote a song about this called "I am with you". You can hear it here: http://soundcloud.com/john-allison

2012 so far...

It's been a while since I wrote anything on here. It seems like a lot has been going on so far this year, but when I really think about it, it's hard to say what. Yeah, there have been conferences and meetings, some really inspiring stuff. Then our community in Jakomäki has been getting into some kind of rhythm of life, and I've been trying to work out what it means to lead this community. That's meant lots of learning so far, and I know there's loads more to come.

But I guess mainly the last 6 weeks or so have been dominated by stuff God's been doing in my heart. On January 1, at GearUp (a young adults conference we had here over New Year's), God told me that a process was beginning. From what He said, I knew that this was gonna be some deep stuff - and so far it certainly has. There are things in my heart that God has showed me that I never expected to find. Questions have cut to the core of me that I thought I already had the answer to. And still in all of it I have known God with me, speaking to me, teaching me and healing me.

So I guess I'm looking forward to what this year will bring, and wondering quite where this process will take me...

A few thoughts from Romania

I thought I'd share a few thoughts from my trip to Şiria, Romania. I was there for about 6 days, getting to know people who are part of a missions team called Networks, and getting to see some of what they do. There are around 50 people there, some long term staff and others who are part of a missions training program.

Firstly, it was amazing just to spend time with some of these people, who are all so passionate about following Jesus and seeing His Kingdom come - I felt so at home among them. I took part in a couple of classes with people doing missions training, which I really enjoyed. They are very intentional about discipleship, and there seemed to be an atmosphere of real openness and learning. It was great getting to know some people there, and I was pretty inspired and challenged by the way they live.

I spent one day with one group visiting an area called Alfa. The residents of the area are Roma people, and they live in 'huts' made of whatever materials are around, which is pretty crazy considering how cold it was. A few of us went to visit a guy who they'd given a guitar to a few weeks before. He was a really amazing guitarist, but hadn't owned a guitar for some time. I got to spend some time playing music with him, which was really cool. The group also gave out flour to people, and we got to pray for one lady, who had lung problems, and apparently she felt God touch her as we prayed. It was pretty eye-opening to be there, as I've maybe only been in that sort of environment once before (in Macedonia this summer).

During the week there I got to worship with people a number of times, including at their Sunday gathering. I love getting to worship and pray with people - somehow you see their hearts. And getting the chance to inspire people in worship is such a privilege. I also got to go up this mountain (or big hill) nearby, where there's ruins of a 13th century castle, and I prayed and worshiped up there (which was great).

So, overall, I had a wonderful time, and I'm pretty sure I'll be back at some point. It seems God's put something in my heart for the Balkans, we'll see what plans He has for the future...

Off to Romania...

On Monday I'm flying from Helsinki to Budapest, then getting a train to Arad, Romania. I'll be spending a week there, visiting some friends I met this summer at the 24/7 Balkan gathering in Ohrid, Macedonia. They are part of a charity called Networks that "are involved in helping the poorest of the poor in northwest Romania." For more on the work, visit http://networks.org.ro/

I'm going mainly to connect with people there, find out more about their work, and spend time worshiping and praying with them. This will be my first visit to Romania, and I'm pretty excited about it.

Feel free to pray into the trip - for provision, traveling mercies, and that God plans for the trip would fully come to pass.

To love God with my mind

I'm currently planning to do a degree in 'biblical and missional theology' - see here for more details on the actual course. My plan is to start the course in January, although I'm trying to sort out some of the practical and funding details at the moment. I would be part of an organisation called ICY, who facilitate this course in Europe.

So why would I want to do this course? Well, firstly I feel that it will give me a lot of skills I will need in the future, in particular in terms of leadership, mission and building communities. Although I don't have a very clear picture of my future, I'm quite sure it will involve these things. I've also realised that I'm quite passionate about getting deeper in my understanding of Who God is, the Bible, mission, and the Church. The idea of doing courses such as "Pioneering Leadership for the Missional Church" seems pretty exciting to me. These subjects are all so linked, and there's so much to explore - as many have said, our Christology should shape our missiology, which should in turn shape our ecclesiology.

I've been reading "What Saint Paul Really Said" by N.T. Wright recently, and it's been challenging my thinking on a range of different subjects, such as Saul's agenda before his conversion, the message of the gospel, who Paul believed Jesus is, the righteousness of God, justification and more. But one line in particular stood out to me a few weeks ago - "The language of theology, properly understood, gives birth to the language of love." Studying theology for me is about going deeper in the knowledge of God, both in my intellect and in my heart. I want to know God, Who is love.

"Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence."
Matt 22:37 (the Message)

Spontaneous trip to Joensuu

A week ago I was part of a workshop on 24/7 Prayer at a mission-themed conference in Helsinki. While there, I met a guy called Janne from Joensuu (around a 6 hour drive north-east of Helsinki), who is part of a community of young people there. A couple of days later they were starting their first prayer week. I mentioned that it would be cool to visit them some time, and in response Janne offered that I could get a lift with them the next day on their way back to Joensuu. I figured that I could potentially do it, so I asked God if I should go. His response was a pretty clear "Yes". I also asked what day to come back, and God suggested Thursday.

So, on Sunday morning, myself and Jenni (who's also part of our Jakomäki community) went to Joensuu. Jenni stayed until Tuesday morning, and I left on Thursday afternoon. We kinda just joined in with the life of the community there. Essentially, it's a group of friends from a few different parts of the Church in Joensuu. Some are involved with a 'media team', which has a house where they make music, videos and various other stuff (and Janne also lives there). Some of the community are also involved with running a youth cafe for the young people in the city. One room in the youth cafe building was used as the prayer room for the week.

So, we spent time getting to know some people from the community, eating, seeing some of Joensuu and just hanging out there. In addition to all this, we were privileged to take part in their first prayer week. It was so great to be there for the first couple of hours in the prayer room with around 10 others, aware that God is really up to something here. I filled in some open slots, maybe an hour or two each day. It was wonderful to see the room fill up with artwork and written prayers, and to see people really enthusiastic about getting to spend time in the prayer room. It seems quite clear that this won't be the last prayer week they host.

I really enjoyed being there, getting to spend time praying for Joensuu and the community, and getting to connect with people there. I also got to record one of my songs in the Media house's studio with Janne - you can hear it here: http://soundcloud.com/john-allison/john-allison-the-boat-song So all in all it was a great 5 days.

Stand up

From the sixth to the ninth of October, people from all over Europe gathered in Frankfurt for 24/7 Prayer's Eurogathering, and I was privileged to be there. It was a truly wonderful time of worship, prayer, sharing vision and inspiration, and meeting family.

I arrived in the hall at the beginning of the first meeting, and it was full of people on their knees, silently listening to God. As I quickly joined in, I felt God say that He had brought me here to show me that there is hope for Europe, and that the people in this hall would become family to me.

By the end of the gathering, I'd heard many stories of different communities across Europe who are praying, reaching out, and living to see their cities, nations, continent and world transformed. Truly, I could see that there is still hope for Europe, and that these people, ordinary yet set-apart people, are truly family to me. After meeting many amazing people, and knowing that there were many more I didn't get a chance to talk with, I know that these are people I want to walk with and learn from.

The gathering was called 'Aufstehen' ('stand up' in German), and I was both inspired and challenged by the call to stand up. Hearing from people in places like Greece and Spain, where there is a great deal of pressure right now, was pretty inspiring. I was also very inspired by hearing about various 'Boiler Room communities' across Europe, and also attending a seminar on building communities. There is so much to learn, and I guess most of it really has to be learned in practice. It really challenged my thinking about the developing community here in Jakomäki, and I'm looking forward to how things will develop.

I also had the privilege of being part of the worship team in the main sessions, made up several different nations, most of whom had never played together. The 3 worship leaders were from Macedonia, Spain and Greece, and getting to be part of it all was so much fun. Some of the leaders of 24/7 Prayer in Europe also shared during the main sessions, and it was really inspiring and challenging stuff. I was particularly challenged by Brian Heasley, who's lived and worked and prayed in Ibiza for several years.

Amongst it all, there was time to just chat and get to know people, which was really great. Meeting people who are so real and 'down-to-earth' and yet so passionately following Jesus was wonderful.

Ultimately, I left Frankfurt longing to see change - in myself, in Jakomäki, in Finland, in Europe and across the world. And I pray that this longing will again draw me into prayer and action, into careful listening and wholehearted obedience. We need to stand up.