Sunday, December 27, 2009

the last month

Apparently i haven't written on here for a month - it's been a pretty busy month.
I've had 3 weeks in Shawnee, and then the last 2 weeks in Gloucester.

I had a good last 3 weeks in Oklahoma - God challenged me quite a bit on really seeking Him above everything else, and about coming to Him when I'm stressed and worried - not just one of those 'Help me' prayers, but really reminding myself of Who He is and letting that put things in perspective.

That's been a recurrent theme it seems. The day after I got back to England I went to the US Embassy in central London to apply for my visa. I didn't get the visa, which would have sorted all that out until the end of the internship in Shawnee. However, despite the initial shock/anger/disappointment, I knew i should just worship God. As I fixed my gaze on the eternal King of all, I saw that Has all things in His hands; I was able to say "the Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord".

So I'm having to trust God for each step, which isn't as easy, but I know I'll learn more this way. So, I'm off to New York on Tuesday 29th December (pretty soon) to meet up with the other interns for 100 hours of prayer and worship in NYC over New year's. Then we'll be going to Washington D.C. and Virginia. Then on Jan 9 we're flying from D.C. to Israel, where we'll be until Feb 6. I shall try to blog while in Israel to keep you up to date.

One major piece of news is that I have a girlfriend - the wonderful Rachel Williams, who is one of the interns. She is from Roanoke, Virginia (which we'll be visiting in early january). I can't wait to see her again when i get back to the US.

It's been lovely to be back in Gloucester for the last 10 days or so. It's been great to catch up with friends here and spend time with my family. It does always feel kinda weird coming back to Gloucester, I'm kinda used to being in other countries now.

hopefully i shall write again soon
be blessed

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Prayer Retreat

This weekend we (all the interns and leaders) went away for the weekend for a prayer retreat in rural Oklahoma. It was led by a couple, Phil and Melissa, from Dallas who are part of the Burn 24-7. I was really looking forward to getting away and slowing down for the weekend; the past few weeks have felt quite busy and tiring.

On Friday evening we got there and ate together. Then we had a time of creative interactive worship - basically, no-one led. We sat and waited upon the Lord and people picked up instruments as they felt led by the Holy Spirit. Apparently nearly everyone had pretty awesome encounters with God, except me. I couldn't really focus on God, I felt really weird. It kinda made me angry and jealous of everyone else - God's beginning to bring stuff to the surface that's deep in me. It was hard seeing my weaknesses while everyone else was experiencing the wonders of God.

The next morning we had a similar worship time, and again i couldn't really feel anything, so i just tried to focus my mind on worshiping. It was a bit frustrating still. Then we were told that for the rest of the day (from 12pm til 6pm) we couldn't talk to anyone else apart from God. We just had alone time with God all afternoon - it was very quiet. So i walked around the nearby lake and spent time with God. It was really good just to be quiet and focus on Him - living in community with 11 other people, i find i crave silence every so often. Later I interacted with God around the Bible, and I also read a fair amount of "Intercessory Prayer" by Dutch Sheets - excellent book.
Later in the afternoon i got chance to talk 2-on-1 with Phil and Melissa. It was really awesome to be able to just bare my soul to them. They are really amazing, peaceful people.

During the weekend, I was reminded of what God had told me earlier in the week that God is taking me into a season of winter, of being barren and dying. For this season I won't feel emotion in worship - God wants me to learn to be led by Him leading my spirit. I'm gonna have to learn to trust God, and not my emotions. My flesh is being crushed, and I'm not gonna feel comfortable.

One prayer request i have is my visa situation. It currently doesn't look very easy for me to come back here, and i'm gonna have to be wise and also trust God as far as flights, etc are concerned. So, if you could pray for me, that would be wonderful.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Sacrifice, etc

it's been a while since i wrote - we've been pretty busy i guess.

We had Burn Shawnee a couple of weeks ago - it was real cool. It started with a group of people from YWAM in Hawaii who are raising awareness about sex trafficking. They told us a whole bunch of stuff about what's going on around the world, including in the US. It was pretty shocking. Then we prayed and cried out to God about the issue. God broke my heart for the people, especially children, who are bought and sold as sex slaves. While hearing this stuff i had to cry out to Him to bring justice.

Later in the evening i led a two-hour set of worship and prayer (from 1-3am). It was really good - i hardly sang any actual songs, but just sang out my heart to God and sang out Scripture and words He gave me. At the end of the 26 hours we had a youth rally, which was really great. We collectively entered the throne room and each saw something of the throne room. I saw a sea of diamonds, rubies and precious stones, with a rainbow over it. It was beautiful.

We've been doing some fundraising recently for our trip to Israel. We did a dinner at our church for people to come and find out about what we're doing so they could pray and donate. We also did a concert last weekend with nearly all original songs written by us interns. It was great fun, and we were able to tell more people about our trip. At the end we started praying and interceding for Israel - it was really powerful, and made me even more excited about going to Israel.

God has been speaking to me about sacrifice recently. Sure, i've sacrificed some to be here, but I know God has me here to weed out some stuff from me. God showed me that Jesus chose death with every step, and that's what we're called to - death to ourselves each day. I guess that means i should be ready for some not-so-easy stuff.
But i know this is important - i don't want to be able to prophecy and see signs and wonders without my character being formed.

I'm really grateful to be here - i have an amazing family here, which adds to my family around the world. I do miss my family in various places, but I'm glad i'm here

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Israel trip and Burn Austin

Hey
firstly, i want to let you know that i'm going with the internship to Israel from January 8 to February 6. We will be spending some time in a Palestinian refugee camp with a lady called Karen Dunham, who works there. Not only will we help serve their practical needs, we will get to share the powerful message of the Kingdom of God and believe for salvation, healing, and deliverance!
We will also be going into the training grounds for future terrorists. We have the opportunity to go into the schools where these children’s future is hanging in the balance, and take the Gospel to them.
We will also be visting prayer houses and praying and interceding for the Middle East.

I'm believing that God can provide the money for me to go - i need about $2200. He has provided for me before, and I'm sure He will again. I'd appreciate your prayers for this.

Last weekend, we drove down to Austin, Texas (about 7 hrs away from Shawnee). We went down there to join in with their Burn. We had an awesome time of worship and intercession for the city. I also had an amazing experience of God's holiness. I was lying facedown and couldn't say anything other than "Holy" for about 30 mins! It was crazy. We then prayed over each other. We then went out and prayed on the streets of downtown Austin. It was Halloween, so the streets were packed with people dressed up. We prayed for people, and did a prayer 'fire tunnel' - people didn't really know what it was, but we got to pray over loads of people as they ran through.
God really gave me a heart for the city and the people. They all seemed so hopeless, so numb.
It was a pretty awesome trip, and i was able to read over half of "Mere Christianity" on the journey there and back - it is an amazing book.

Life continues to be good. I started giving guitar lessons at the church i help at, which is fun. Tomorrow night Burn Shawnee begins - should be awesome, and we have some people from YWAM's Human Trafficking Awareness Tour coming, which will probably break our hearts again.

God's doing so much, I hope reading this encourages you

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Seraphim - Burning Ones

Well, a couple of weeks have gone by, and life here continues to be good. I'm really enjoying living with the people here and they truly feel like family. Spending lots of time praying and worshiping together really binds you together, and the sharing the everyday stuff of cooking, cleaning and working together does also.

A couple of weeks ago we had Burn Shawnee, 24 hours of continual worship and prayer. It was really awesome to be there - the first six hours i just stayed and worshiped and prayed. I played lead guitar in a couple of sets (2-hour slots), and it was great. I've been involved with organising the next month's Burn Shawnee, and it's amazing to see the range of different church congregations involved. Church unity was a major focus of last month's Burn, and God really laid on my heart the need for us to let go of our pride so we can be one. Jesus is coming back for a bride, not a harem (that is a quote from a book, but I can't think which book).

Last weekend we helped organise a youth retreat for a few church youth groups in the area. It was called Violent Pursuit - God is violently pursuing us, and we are called to pursue Him violently. It was great to pray over young people and see God working in their lives. It was also great to meet new people; there were people who are part of Burn 24-7 who came from Corpus Cristi, Texas and Little Rock, Arkansas. It was like meeting my extended family.

While I was at Burn Shawnee, God reminded me that He brought me here, and I shouldn't let anything other than Him be my focus, or else i shouldn't be here. That might sound kinda full on, but I really believe these 9 months are meant to change me completely.

Every Tuesday night, we have a class called "The Excellencies of Christ" by Allen Hood on dvd from the IHOP school. It's been amazing stuff; we've been getting lots of revelation on who Jesus is. This week He spoke about the seraphim, which translates as burning ones (the name of the internship). In Revelation 4, the seraphim are covered with eyes and are gazing upon God. As they scout out the mysteries of God, all they can report back to each other is "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty." Even with their many eyes, they can only begin to grasp Who God is. We also have that privilege, but we are able to gaze into the very heart of God. So I'm giving my life to gaze upon God, to delve into His endless mysteries. After all, we'll be spending all eternity trying to grasp Who God is, and we'll continue to be amazed and overwhelmed by Him.

this is an amazing song we sang at the youth retreat - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xj2T6_MU5oA

p.s. i went to a concert last week - Barcelona, Copeland, and Relient K played - it was amazing, i absolutely loved it. Barcelona were so good i nearly stopped breathing it made me so happy. Copeland were amazing, and Relient K were great.

Next weekend we're off to Austin, Texas to do a Burn and then go out on the streets and minister to people on Halloween. Should be great

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Settling down into routine

After the beginning week, life's become more like it will be for most of this internship. Each weekday morning we have prayer from 9am til about 11 or 12. This sometimes includes teaching or discussions. We have started to study one Psalm a day, looking at what we can learn about God's character and emotions, and asking Him for fresh revelation. One of our leaders said the other day that worship from information is good, but worship from revelation is what really has power to transform.

Amos 9:11-12 is a major focus of Burn 24-7 - God restoring the tabernacle of David, which had no veil and was filled with musicians, prophets and intercessors. So we've been looking at how worship leads to the prophetic, which leads to intercession. This has been great to do every morning, and it's really raised my expectation for God to speak to me. We also started a dvd course from IHOP called the Excellencies of Christ, which is really gd stuff - to know and understand God, we must look at Christ.

Each weekday afternoon we do work for a couple of hours. so far this has been mainly moving in furniture that God has provided, but will also involve helping with admin, and organising local 'Burns' each month (24 hours or more of continuous worship and prayer), and helping spread the vision to churches locally. the evenings sometimes involve just spending time together, classes (including vocals, piano, guitar) and outreach.
We had a Burn last weekend which was based at a housechurch. We had sound equipment set up outside, and was awesome to worship surrounded by God's creation. I played electric guitar for 4 hours straight, which was great. These guys have developed a culture of prophetic worship, and it was great to cry out to God together.

We have all been assigned to local congregation to help with their youth meetings and church meetings. I'm looking forward to this, and I'm sure i can learn a lot, having not been involved much with slightly bigger expressions of church in a while.

God has also been uniting us as a group of interns, or, as Karen Dunham called us, a company of prophets. Seeing these people seeking God so passionately is really inspiring, and it does feel like a family.
Last week we went camping and hiking for a couple of days, and each shared in-depth testimonies, which really helped us get to know each other.

I know I'm where God wants me to be, God even told me that I have a part to play in changing America. He is giving me His heart for America so i can truly intercede for it. We are all believing that the city of Shawnee (where we're based) will be transformed over the next 9 months.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Arrived in Oklahoma

Well, it's been a while since i wrote.
I'm currently sat in the house connected to our community house here in Shawnee, Oklahoma. I've been here a week, and it has been awesome.

The interns and leaders here feel like family already. They love my accent, and keep getting me to say "for Narnia". I've been to Taco Bell, IHOP (the pancake one) and the local mall, and actually shot a shotgun - crazy!

God has been doing amazing stuff here. Everyone is so passionate for God, pretty much every worship time has gone from worship to the prophetic to intercession. I've already had several full-on encounters with God. He's been giving me His heart for the lost and broken, America, and the Muslims.

From Sunday to Tuesday we had a lady called Karen Dunham teaching. She is an amazing lady who works in Israel in Palestinian refugee camps in Jerusalem. She's had her house set on fire 7 times, but continues to love Palestinians, and has a church of 300, some former Hamas members. God willing, we're going to visit her in Israel for 4 weeks in January/Febrary.
She taught us amazing stuff about encountering the Father, and about us being a group of prophets. We spent a couple of hours prophecying over each other one day - it was really powerful.

From wednesday til today we had Roger Joyner with us. He's an amazingly passionate intercessor, and he taught us great stuff about intercession. God has led us into times of intercession for this city, and the USA. Today we prayed for Muslims, as there was a gathering planned of 50,000 Muslims in Washington, D.C., and ended up interceding for Europe.

So, it's been a really intense beginning week, really amazing, and God's gonna change us all radically in these 9 months

Monday, June 29, 2009

Time in Pyhäranta

Arrived back in Jakomäki today having spent 2 weeks in Pyhäranta (Holy beach). I had a great time. The place was beautiful, particularly in the second week which was sunny and warm (25C+) most of the time. It was great to be able to spend lots of time with some of the Network4youth family - working, playing, and resting.

The second week was pretty intense - i was helping run the children's programme at a family camp run by Deep Healing Finland. The camp was about inner healing, spiritual warfare, and that whole area - pretty interesting. It was great to see God working in the kids' lives, and the whole camp had a family atmosphere.

God taught me quite a lot about the importance of spiritual warfare, and also about how He is working in our lives all the time. We had some great times of worship, and learned a lot from the amazing people i was with.

It seems quite likely that i'll be going to Oklahoma in September for a 'Burning Ones' internship. I felt like God said to me last week while i was leading worship "this is what i created you for". I'm leaving it open before Him, but it seems that He is leading me to go.
I've been reading PunkMonk recently, and the idea that we are pilgrims here on the earth really spoke to me. I'm not in this for the end result; i'm in this for the journey with God.

Monday, May 11, 2009

An interesting weekend

on friday evening, a 24-3 prayer weekend began in Helsingin Kristillinen Koulu, Jakomäki (where such events as 'GearUp' have taken place). I spent about 11 hours there in total, including a shift from 4am til 8am early saturday morning.

It was really cool, and God is definitely at work in Jakomäki. I heard, from people who were there at some point on Sunday, that three local boys asked to come into the prayer room, shared all that was in their hearts and gave their lives to Jesus! Praise the Lord! It has been great to be part of what God is doing here.

I also went to the meeting of a Latin American church that meets in Malmi with Mikko Lassila. It was kinda funny being there, with Spanish, translated into Finnish at the front, with mikko translating to English for me for some of it. The preach was by an Indian man speaking in English, which was cool.
Having spent about 10 days in Holland, and most of the last 9 months in Finland, I'm getting pretty used to not understanding stuff. I actually quite enjoy it. It's funny to think how international i'm becoming.

One more experience from the weekend: I was walking from my place to the office (3 minute walk, so convenient) and i saw an old lady doing gardening next to the office. I walked inside the office, and was listening to worship music at the time. In my mind, i just said "John, you have to go and offer to help her." So i did; it took a while as all my Finnish just flew out of my memory. It turned out she was just finishing. Then I asked if i could pray for her (totally forgot the verb to pray - rukoilla - so it involved putting my hands together and pointing to the sky). I understood that she wanted prayer for her sight and hearing, so i prayed for her. I then found out that she lives in the building next to where i live.

all in all, a pretty gd wkend

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Soul Survivor Holland

Hei

I got back from Holland on Monday afternoon (should have been Sunday eve, but missed plane). it was a pretty amazing time.

Soul Survivor Holland was great. We met loads of amazing people and saw God doing so much. it was wonderful to be part of the ministry team. I got to pray for lots of people, which was really cool, and the ministry team meetings were awesome - God did so much in us all. It was a privilege to be part of it.

God spoke a lot to me about letting go of my life, and about prophetic worship and intercession. I feel like that could be the general direction i'm heading in. I had some crazy experiences of the Holy Spirit, and God is beginning to give me more of the burden of His heart. I have been asking Him for this, as i see that in my strength i can't love people as He does.

i realise that i now have less than 3 months left of my EU project left - crazy. i still don't really know what God wants my next step to be, but i'm not too worried about that. As i seek Him, He will sort everything out.

bless you
i will try to write here more often

john

Monday, March 23, 2009

a few thoughts

moi

i thought i'd just write a bit about stuff i've been thinking about recently.

i've been reading a book called "Desire" by John Eldredge. it's dealing a lot with the heart, which is something God's been talking about recently. Foundational to it is the idea that we were created for Eden, and that the desires of our heart arise from that.
It has really encouraged me to live with the hope of eternity in my heart, and taught me not to try to arrange for my 'perfect life' in this lifetime. It has shown me that my deepest desires are God-given, and He loves to fulfill them. Psalm 37:5 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Also, i just read Chris Mooney's most recent blog (on suffering), and i thought i'd write a little on the subject.
Now firstly, i can't say i've ever truly suffered like, for example, David suffered.
But from what i can see in the Bible, God allows suffering. God wants to deal with our hearts, and this isn't usually a comfortable experience. As a Father who loves us, He wants us to grow and become all we can be. If my life is aways easy, then I may become complacent and lose my focus on God.

For example, as i read this morning in Revelation 2:10, God tells the church in Smyrna "Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life."

blessings
john

Monday, February 16, 2009

my heart

hey there

God's been doing some amazing stuff in my life recently. I'm beginning to see more and more that my life without Him is nothing, and that He deserves everything I am and have.

I've had loads of cool experiences of God recently. On a couple of occasions this was an experience of Him loving me as a Daddy, which was awesome. Also, recently in meetings where a guy from Denmark has been preaching, God has been doing amazing stuff. This weekend i was in three of these gatherings, and God touched me with His power and left me shaking on the floor for about 10 mins. This happened on two occasions.
He has really been freeing me and dealing with my heart. A couple of weeks ago i found myself asking to take out my heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. He was listening, and has proceeded to deal with issues in my heart, such as pride and cynicism. It's not that nice to realise that you need to change, but it's wonderful when you feel God doing that work in you.

So yeah, i feel more in love with God than ever before, and it's wonderful.
I know that i don't need to worry about my future or whatever, but simply seek God's kingdom and run after Him.

here's a couple of quotes:
"Father, hide our hearts in you, lest we steal them back, and lay them at the feet of men." from a song called Love Jealous One, Love by As Cities Burn

"what does this world need: gifted men and women, outwardly empowered? Or individuals who are broken, inwardly transformed?" from A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards


blessings
john