I recently saw a good illustration of how we often act, in Genesis chapter 50. Jacob has just died, and Joseph's brothers begin to panic - maybe Joseph hadn't forgiven them, but was just waiting for their dad to die before he got his revenge. They still can't fully trust him and they still haven't fully dealt with their guilt, even though Joseph had repeatedly told them that God had used their betrayal to save many lives, including their own, and that he forgave them.
When the message begging for forgiveness arrives to Joseph, he begins to weep. He goes to them and reassures them again that he has forgiven them, and 'speaks kindly to them'.
As Rob Bell says in 'Velvet Elvis' the amazing thing is that not only did the the stories of the Bible really happen, but they also still happen. This same situation has happened in our lives. Something happens, maybe a tragedy or disappointment, and we think that maybe God has changed His mind. Our fear and guilt over past sins resurface, and we plead with God to have mercy. This surely makes God weep, that despite all He's done for us, that despite His great demonstration of love in the cross, we still don't trust Him. Yet He continues to gently reassure us that His love hasn't changed, and that He is still good.
The cross clearly has a lot to teach us about God's love. Jesus took on Himself our sin, and took the punishment for that sin - it's pretty easy to say it, but that is pretty full on. The cross is truly love in action.
Recently, while reading 'He Loves Me' by Wayne Jacobsen, a few things jumped out at me related to the cross and trust. The first thing was about the sentence, "Father,into Your hands I commit my spirit." Now I'm sure we've all read the phrase, and know that Jesus said it before He died on the cross. But I'd never really appreciated the power of that verse. Here is Jesus on the cross, with the full weight of sin upon Him. He has previously prayed (from Psalm 22) "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" Many theologians have given their views of this question. But in this book, the author suggests that perhaps there is a difference here between reality and Jesus' perception. Perhaps, under the weight of sin, Jesus was unable to feel His Father's presence with Him. In this context then, Jesus' choice to commit His spirit into His Father's hands is an amazing picture of trust. He knows so deeply that His Father is always good and always knows best. In the darkest moment, feeling completely separated from His Father, Jesus chooses to places His life in His Father's hands.
So how does this apply to us? Well, later in the same chapter of this book, the author takes us to Galatians 2:20, particularly the end of the verse. The majority of translations say "The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God." However, according to the author and some more 'literal' translations, it should be "I live by the faith of the Son of God." Here, the key is that it is not my faith that I make happen, but rather I allow Jesus' faith to flow through me. In those times when I can't feel God's presence and I'm completely overwhelmed, I can ask Jesus to fill me with the trust He has in the Father. And Jesus was able to trust the Father in the very darkest moment.
Jesus, empower us by Your Holy Spirit to trust Father like You trust Father, that in those moments when we feel alone and confused, we would choose to trust. May we be so rooted and grounded in Your love that nothing can shake our trust. May we know so deeply that You are always good, and your love never ends. Amen
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