Here's a general summary of what's been happening here in the last few weeks.
A couple of weeks ago I took a train 3 hours north(ish) to Jämsä, to visit a friend of mine called Luke. He's an english guy who's lived in Finland for about 13 years, and I met him when i lived in Finland before. I spent a week in Jämsä, mainly talking to Luke and leading worship at some worship gatherings. God seems to be doing stuff in Jämsä, and it was great to be able to support Luke in the work God has him doing there. It was cool to be able to talk through what I'm doing here with Luke, and get his advice on adjusting to life here.
When I got back to Helsinki, I knew I need to sort out the question of my residency status here. I'd lost whatever paper I'd been given when I moved here two years ago, and I wasn't sure whether I'd need to apply again as what I'm doing has changed. So, I finally went to the local police immigration office to find some answers to my questions. Walking in there and seeing all the forms that people were filling out kinda freaked me out. I guess my recent experiences with 'official' things haven't been great (denied visa at U.S. Embassy, 5 hours in Israeli security, denied entry to the U.S. in Chicago). After waiting for a while, I was able to talk to one of the immigration officials. He found me on their database, and simply printed out a new copy of the paper I'd been given 2 years ago. My residency hadn't expired, and I am officialy a resident of Helsinki. This was a great relief, and makes the practicalities of staying here a whole lot easier.
So what else have I been doing in Helsinki? Well, last weekend I was able to be part of two events in the greater Helsinki. On Friday evening I was at a worship evening organised by Verkosto church. I led worship for the first 2 hours, using Finnish songs and then flowing in between in English. God led us to intercede for His Church - that the Bride would come together and sing as one "Come, Lord Jesus". It was pretty great. Two other people led worship after me, and it was great just to be in that place of worship and to pray for whatever God put on our hearts. After about 5 hours we ended, but I'm sure we could have kept going for hours more.
The other event, on the next day, was a worship and intercession day organised by an American guy in Espoo (part of greater Helsinki area). It was great to be there; we worshiped for hours again, and interceded for the church, the area and the nation. We also prayed for one another, and just spent time getting to know each other. Luke came from Jämsä to lead worship and share, which was great. The day lasted about 10 hours in all, so i was pretty exhausted by the end of it. But it was great just to support people with vision for worship and prayer in this area.
I'm also now a member of Silmu, which is a housechurch here in Helsinki. Most of the people involved I know pretty well, and I felt that I could share life with them. There is so much that I could learn from them, and to have their support is a real blessing. I'm sure there are also things God has given me to share with them. Silmu is also very involved in reaching out to Jakomäki (see last post for more), which currently includes running an Alpha course there, which I'm involved in.
So, my life here is developing, and I'm more sure than ever that God wants me to be here. There's still plenty of uncertainty about exactly what I'm going to do here, but that's just part of the fun of adventure.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
You make beautiul things
For about 3 weeks now, there's been 2 hours of worship and prayer going on each day in Jakomäki, at a prayer room which is also a church office. Various different people, including myself, have taken two hour slots there to worship God and pray for the area, as well as whatever God puts on our hearts to pray for.
It has been really great to be back in Jakomäki. This was where I lived for the year I was in Finland before, and God has definitely given me a heart for the area. Jakomäki is an area in Helsinki with something of a reputation across Finland for being a bit rough. There are many alcoholics, many immigrants,and many of the poorer people in Helsinki there. Every time I've told someone anywhere in Finland that I had lived there, I could see the reaction on their faces.
But there are people who God has given a heart to see Jakomäki changed. A prayer room and office is being rented in Jakomäki, right next door to one of the many pubs in the area. Last week a group of us rearranged the place, so that now half the place is the office and kitchen area, and the other half is the prayer room. We felt it was important that the prayer room could function while the office is in use, and that there was a dedicated area for worship and prayer.
Worshiping and praying there has been great. Starting from the place of exalting Jesus and worshiping Him, God has given us revelation of His heart for the area, which fuels the fire of worship and prayer. Jakomäki is His garden; He is breathing on the area and bringing life to it, much like Aslan does when he breathes on people turned to stone and makes them alive again.
Also I felt God gave me Isaiah 62 as a word for the area, especially verse 4:
"You shall no longer be termed Forsaken, Nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate; But you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; For the LORD delights in you, And your land shall be married."
God delights in Jakomäki and has chosen it, although from a human perspective it may not seem desirable. I believe what God is doing in Jakomäki will be a sign and a wonder to the nation of Finland.
Last Saturday, we were involved in part of 'Urbaani Unelma' (a few days where the Church across Helsinki shared God's love in practical ways), again in Jakomäki. About 12 of us spent a few hours in the main central square of Jakomäki, giving out free coffee, pulla, and sandwiches and talking to people who passed by. We had good conversations with people and were able to pray with some, and we were able to share God's love with people. Others also picked up litter from the surrounding area.
I spent much of the time playing guitar and worshiping God there - it was great, declaring Jesus as Lord and singing over Jakmäki that "God is your Shield, your Strength, your Portion, your Deliverer, your Shelter, Strong Tower, your very present Help in time of need".
Finally, I was also inspired to sing the song 'Beautiful Things' by Gungor (video at the end of this). The lines "Could all that is lost ever be found? Could a garden come up from this ground at all?" expressed perfectly what in the flesh I've often felt about this place. As I was singing this, I could see people sat outside the pub drinking who've been there every day for years, the faces of people walking past who've lived pretty difficult lives, and then there's the thought that all the rubbish we'd been picking up would be back again within days. Could a garden really come up from this ground?
But then came the response: "You make beautiful things out of the dust", and with that hope began to rise. As I repeated it, faith was stirred up in me, a faith that sees things not as they are now but as they will be. God is making something truly beautiful out of Jakomäki.
It has been really great to be back in Jakomäki. This was where I lived for the year I was in Finland before, and God has definitely given me a heart for the area. Jakomäki is an area in Helsinki with something of a reputation across Finland for being a bit rough. There are many alcoholics, many immigrants,and many of the poorer people in Helsinki there. Every time I've told someone anywhere in Finland that I had lived there, I could see the reaction on their faces.
But there are people who God has given a heart to see Jakomäki changed. A prayer room and office is being rented in Jakomäki, right next door to one of the many pubs in the area. Last week a group of us rearranged the place, so that now half the place is the office and kitchen area, and the other half is the prayer room. We felt it was important that the prayer room could function while the office is in use, and that there was a dedicated area for worship and prayer.
Worshiping and praying there has been great. Starting from the place of exalting Jesus and worshiping Him, God has given us revelation of His heart for the area, which fuels the fire of worship and prayer. Jakomäki is His garden; He is breathing on the area and bringing life to it, much like Aslan does when he breathes on people turned to stone and makes them alive again.
Also I felt God gave me Isaiah 62 as a word for the area, especially verse 4:
"You shall no longer be termed Forsaken, Nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate; But you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; For the LORD delights in you, And your land shall be married."
God delights in Jakomäki and has chosen it, although from a human perspective it may not seem desirable. I believe what God is doing in Jakomäki will be a sign and a wonder to the nation of Finland.
Last Saturday, we were involved in part of 'Urbaani Unelma' (a few days where the Church across Helsinki shared God's love in practical ways), again in Jakomäki. About 12 of us spent a few hours in the main central square of Jakomäki, giving out free coffee, pulla, and sandwiches and talking to people who passed by. We had good conversations with people and were able to pray with some, and we were able to share God's love with people. Others also picked up litter from the surrounding area.
I spent much of the time playing guitar and worshiping God there - it was great, declaring Jesus as Lord and singing over Jakmäki that "God is your Shield, your Strength, your Portion, your Deliverer, your Shelter, Strong Tower, your very present Help in time of need".
Finally, I was also inspired to sing the song 'Beautiful Things' by Gungor (video at the end of this). The lines "Could all that is lost ever be found? Could a garden come up from this ground at all?" expressed perfectly what in the flesh I've often felt about this place. As I was singing this, I could see people sat outside the pub drinking who've been there every day for years, the faces of people walking past who've lived pretty difficult lives, and then there's the thought that all the rubbish we'd been picking up would be back again within days. Could a garden really come up from this ground?
But then came the response: "You make beautiful things out of the dust", and with that hope began to rise. As I repeated it, faith was stirred up in me, a faith that sees things not as they are now but as they will be. God is making something truly beautiful out of Jakomäki.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
24-7 Prayer Finland gathering
On Saturday I was part of the 24-7 Prayer Finland gathering, and it was a realy good day. We spent some time getting to know each other and sharing stories of prayer rooms and what God's been doing in our lives. Myself and another member of the team helped lead two times of free-flow worship, the second more focused on intercession for the nation and prayer for each other. The afternoon also contained workshops with themes something like: 'how to organise a prayer room in your church, school, etc', 'prayer and mission', 'prayer-centered communities' and 'permanent houses of prayer and worship'. I was part of the last of these, and although it was all in Finnish and I struggled to understand at times, my spirit was stirred up to see these houses of prayer and worship raised up in Finland. The people sharing in this workshop voiced the longing in my heart to see 'Levites' raised up in this nation who will worship and intercede before God day and night. So yeah, it was a great day.
It seems like quite a while since the tour finished, although it was only 2 weeks ago. Life's been a lot more relaxed, but it's been good. Have been reading some good books. I'm half way through "He Loves Me" by Wayne Jacobson, which is really great, it deals with a lot of pretty vital stuff in our relationship with God. And then I'm nearing the end of Bonhoeffer's "Cost of Discipleship" - brilliant, completely uncompromising book. I've also been listening to Mike Bickle's series on Song of Songs - a few people had told me it was good, but it's blown me away how much you can get out of that book. Nearly every time of worship recently has involved me ending up singing from Song of Songs, there's so much good stuff there. Here's a link to the series, you can get mp3s and notes for free: http://mikebickle.org/resources/series/song-of-songs
oh yeah, and i went to see U2 in the Olympic stadium in Helsinki on Friday. It was epic, there were something like 100,000 people there. So crazy that we actually saw Bono. So yeah, life is good.
It seems like quite a while since the tour finished, although it was only 2 weeks ago. Life's been a lot more relaxed, but it's been good. Have been reading some good books. I'm half way through "He Loves Me" by Wayne Jacobson, which is really great, it deals with a lot of pretty vital stuff in our relationship with God. And then I'm nearing the end of Bonhoeffer's "Cost of Discipleship" - brilliant, completely uncompromising book. I've also been listening to Mike Bickle's series on Song of Songs - a few people had told me it was good, but it's blown me away how much you can get out of that book. Nearly every time of worship recently has involved me ending up singing from Song of Songs, there's so much good stuff there. Here's a link to the series, you can get mp3s and notes for free: http://mikebickle.org/resources/series/song-of-songs
oh yeah, and i went to see U2 in the Olympic stadium in Helsinki on Friday. It was epic, there were something like 100,000 people there. So crazy that we actually saw Bono. So yeah, life is good.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Burn Finland tour (August '10)
Just to warn you, this is pretty epic, but i hope it's worth reading - the end is probs the most interesting bit.
On 30th July, I got on my first flight since the whole 'being-refused-entry-into-America thing', sat next to Ben and Steve (who i'd never met before, but now feel like family), and waited with anticipation for arrival in Helsinki.
It had been 11 months since I was last in Finland, although it felt a lot longer ago than that. When we got to Helsinki, it felt like coming home - so many familiar faces and sights.
So, the tour - well, I i figured it would be great, but it was so much better than I expected. God showed up in amazing ways in each place we went to, and I believe what He did will have quite an impact on this nation. We had a great team, with us 3 guys from England, and 6 Finns - by the end of the tour we felt like a family. Despite having never played together as a band, we flowed well as a group.
In Helsinki, it was great to see that many people here have vision for houses of worship and prayer. As different people shared, and we later interceded for the nation, expectation at what God is going to do here rose in my heart.
After two days in Helsinki, we then spent one day in each of the other places (other than Pietasaari/Jakobstad). This meant lots of travelling (4 hours was the longest journey), which was tiring, but it was great to visit so many places.
Renko was our next stop. I spent a week in Renko about a year ago, so it was great to be back with those guys. We had 3 awesome times of prophetic worship there. In the last one, i just started playing some kind of winding solo stuff on the acoustic guitar. Pretty soon i was in some kind of Holy Spirit trance, all i could do was play guitar for ages, maybe about an hour. Crazy stuff.
Next stop about 2 hrs away was Jämsä, where we met Luke Jeffrey (who i knew from my time in Finland before). Here we led a time in the afternoon for worship leaders, with prophetic worship and teaching, and then the evening was a more general gathering. This included lots of worship and teaching, and ended with a time of passionate intercession for Jämsä and Finland - it was pretty awesome. Luke has since started regular gatherings for prophetic worship and intercession in Jämsä, and I hope to visit him again in a few weeks' time maybe. We three english guys got to stay with a lovely couple in their nearby summer cottage, and had sauna and swam in their lake - so great.
The next stop was a YWAM base near Siilinjärvi. It was great to get to know people there, and the evening of prophetic worship and teaching was great. It was great to bless and encourage the base leaders in their vision for a house of worship and prayer.
We then had a 4 hour drive to Pietasaari/Jakobstad, where we stayed two nights. This was in a mainly Swedish-speaking area, which was cool. Both evenings we had great times of worship and teaching. Also, on both evenings an indigenous sound of Finland was released - two ladies played violins, in a very folky and mournful style. It was amazing, and God was definitely at work there. We also got to chillax for the day in between the meetings. Ben, Sonja and myself spent a while playing each other our songs, and then having sauna and swimming in the Baltic Sea (which wasn't that warm, even in summer).
Our next stop was Vaasa. We had an afternoon and an evening session here, and it was quite tough ground. Our freeflow style was clearly quite challenging to some of the local christians, as was some of Steve's teaching on prophetic worship. But I feel like there was some breakthrough there, and at one point everyone sang the Finnish national anthem and prayed for the nation, which was cool.
By this stage, we had led worship for hours each day for several days, and were all pretty tired. I definitely felt pretty empty, like I didn't have much left to give. I felt kinda frustrated, both in Jakobstad and then in Vaasa especially (part of that was probably the atmosphere). I was struggling to really press in and to hear God's voice, which is pretty vital to prophetic worship. This brought out all sorts of feelings, and at one point in the evening in Vaasa I had to leave the building. I wandered around and voiced my frustrations to God.
That evening and the next day i was able to talk it through with a couple of people in the team, and I realised that there were lies that i was believing (such as that I have nothing to give, not only in worship, but more generally to Finland), and some pride/performance mentality/striving kinda stuff was exposed.
So, after Vaasa we went to a YWAM base in Ruurikkala. I decided it was best that I have a break from playing guitar and singing with the band at first. It was good just to have space to be alone with God. Steve and Ben then did some teaching, Ben on honest intimacy - being truly open and broken before God - which was really good.
We went back into worship, and i felt i should play piano, which no-one else was playing at that time. God really moved, and it ended up with just me playing and nearly everyone else lying down or praying for people. Ben then came and encouraged me to really pour out my soul to God, which i then did. It was probably the most raw, desperate worship time i've ever had. I was pursuing God and i wasn't gonna give up. Later, other members of the team came and joined in with me crying out to God. It was so amazing.
When i was finally out of energy, the whole team prayed for me and prophecied over me for a while. What followed was really crazy. I was shaking pretty crazily in the Spirit and felt kinda like i was birthing something (stomach cramps, and pretty full on groans). The groans ended up with me basically roaring like a lion. I've had simiar experiences before, but not with that intensity probably. By the end of this i was exhausted and just lay on the floor for a while. Pretty soon i was completely drunk in the Spirit, like properly wasted. Several other members of the team were too, and we spent at least an hour on the floor laughing. Eventually i got to bed, and a while after that sobered up enough to sleep. It was the most amazing feeling.
The next day was our last day of travelling on the tour. We went to Tampere, and had an afternoon of worship and teaching. After the first worship time, i was pretty drunk again, so i went out of the hall with Ben and Sonja. After praying for each other, we decided to dance, which ended up with us going outside and dancing in the rain - so awesome. We kinda missed the teaching bit, and soon after we had another worship time. At one point we were declaring freedom over the church and the nation, and I felt that i had to dance - was pretty crazy, the Holy Spirit kinda took control of my body. We were crying out for freedom, especially for Finnish men - it was really powerful.
The worship ended with us praying for people, and then with a bunch of us on the floor, drunk in the Spirit again. Took quite a while to sober up again.
After driving back to Helsinki, we had a relaxed next day, until the evening when we prayed and worshiped in Jakomäki. It was amazing to be back in the area I lived in for a year, i really love that place. We declared Jesus as Lord over the area and also danced on the hill. Our time there ended with Sonja and I both drunk in the Spirit again, this time on the hill in Jakomäki. kinda crazy. All this drunkenness makes me think there's a whole lot more to joy than we often experience.
The next day Ben and Steve flew back to England, was sad to say goodbye. It was also a bit of a wake up call to the fact that I was staying here in Finland. I still don't know how long I'll be here, but I feel that I have some role to play in encouraging prophetic worship and intercession here. I also feel that I need to be part of seeing the men of Finland rise up and be the men of God they're called to be.
God is definitely stirring up the church here to worship and intercession. He is bringing freedom - from religion, from passivity, and many other things. He is bringing his joy and life to this nation.
On 30th July, I got on my first flight since the whole 'being-refused-entry-into-America thing', sat next to Ben and Steve (who i'd never met before, but now feel like family), and waited with anticipation for arrival in Helsinki.
It had been 11 months since I was last in Finland, although it felt a lot longer ago than that. When we got to Helsinki, it felt like coming home - so many familiar faces and sights.
So, the tour - well, I i figured it would be great, but it was so much better than I expected. God showed up in amazing ways in each place we went to, and I believe what He did will have quite an impact on this nation. We had a great team, with us 3 guys from England, and 6 Finns - by the end of the tour we felt like a family. Despite having never played together as a band, we flowed well as a group.
In Helsinki, it was great to see that many people here have vision for houses of worship and prayer. As different people shared, and we later interceded for the nation, expectation at what God is going to do here rose in my heart.
After two days in Helsinki, we then spent one day in each of the other places (other than Pietasaari/Jakobstad). This meant lots of travelling (4 hours was the longest journey), which was tiring, but it was great to visit so many places.
Renko was our next stop. I spent a week in Renko about a year ago, so it was great to be back with those guys. We had 3 awesome times of prophetic worship there. In the last one, i just started playing some kind of winding solo stuff on the acoustic guitar. Pretty soon i was in some kind of Holy Spirit trance, all i could do was play guitar for ages, maybe about an hour. Crazy stuff.
Next stop about 2 hrs away was Jämsä, where we met Luke Jeffrey (who i knew from my time in Finland before). Here we led a time in the afternoon for worship leaders, with prophetic worship and teaching, and then the evening was a more general gathering. This included lots of worship and teaching, and ended with a time of passionate intercession for Jämsä and Finland - it was pretty awesome. Luke has since started regular gatherings for prophetic worship and intercession in Jämsä, and I hope to visit him again in a few weeks' time maybe. We three english guys got to stay with a lovely couple in their nearby summer cottage, and had sauna and swam in their lake - so great.
The next stop was a YWAM base near Siilinjärvi. It was great to get to know people there, and the evening of prophetic worship and teaching was great. It was great to bless and encourage the base leaders in their vision for a house of worship and prayer.
We then had a 4 hour drive to Pietasaari/Jakobstad, where we stayed two nights. This was in a mainly Swedish-speaking area, which was cool. Both evenings we had great times of worship and teaching. Also, on both evenings an indigenous sound of Finland was released - two ladies played violins, in a very folky and mournful style. It was amazing, and God was definitely at work there. We also got to chillax for the day in between the meetings. Ben, Sonja and myself spent a while playing each other our songs, and then having sauna and swimming in the Baltic Sea (which wasn't that warm, even in summer).
Our next stop was Vaasa. We had an afternoon and an evening session here, and it was quite tough ground. Our freeflow style was clearly quite challenging to some of the local christians, as was some of Steve's teaching on prophetic worship. But I feel like there was some breakthrough there, and at one point everyone sang the Finnish national anthem and prayed for the nation, which was cool.
By this stage, we had led worship for hours each day for several days, and were all pretty tired. I definitely felt pretty empty, like I didn't have much left to give. I felt kinda frustrated, both in Jakobstad and then in Vaasa especially (part of that was probably the atmosphere). I was struggling to really press in and to hear God's voice, which is pretty vital to prophetic worship. This brought out all sorts of feelings, and at one point in the evening in Vaasa I had to leave the building. I wandered around and voiced my frustrations to God.
That evening and the next day i was able to talk it through with a couple of people in the team, and I realised that there were lies that i was believing (such as that I have nothing to give, not only in worship, but more generally to Finland), and some pride/performance mentality/striving kinda stuff was exposed.
So, after Vaasa we went to a YWAM base in Ruurikkala. I decided it was best that I have a break from playing guitar and singing with the band at first. It was good just to have space to be alone with God. Steve and Ben then did some teaching, Ben on honest intimacy - being truly open and broken before God - which was really good.
We went back into worship, and i felt i should play piano, which no-one else was playing at that time. God really moved, and it ended up with just me playing and nearly everyone else lying down or praying for people. Ben then came and encouraged me to really pour out my soul to God, which i then did. It was probably the most raw, desperate worship time i've ever had. I was pursuing God and i wasn't gonna give up. Later, other members of the team came and joined in with me crying out to God. It was so amazing.
When i was finally out of energy, the whole team prayed for me and prophecied over me for a while. What followed was really crazy. I was shaking pretty crazily in the Spirit and felt kinda like i was birthing something (stomach cramps, and pretty full on groans). The groans ended up with me basically roaring like a lion. I've had simiar experiences before, but not with that intensity probably. By the end of this i was exhausted and just lay on the floor for a while. Pretty soon i was completely drunk in the Spirit, like properly wasted. Several other members of the team were too, and we spent at least an hour on the floor laughing. Eventually i got to bed, and a while after that sobered up enough to sleep. It was the most amazing feeling.
The next day was our last day of travelling on the tour. We went to Tampere, and had an afternoon of worship and teaching. After the first worship time, i was pretty drunk again, so i went out of the hall with Ben and Sonja. After praying for each other, we decided to dance, which ended up with us going outside and dancing in the rain - so awesome. We kinda missed the teaching bit, and soon after we had another worship time. At one point we were declaring freedom over the church and the nation, and I felt that i had to dance - was pretty crazy, the Holy Spirit kinda took control of my body. We were crying out for freedom, especially for Finnish men - it was really powerful.
The worship ended with us praying for people, and then with a bunch of us on the floor, drunk in the Spirit again. Took quite a while to sober up again.
After driving back to Helsinki, we had a relaxed next day, until the evening when we prayed and worshiped in Jakomäki. It was amazing to be back in the area I lived in for a year, i really love that place. We declared Jesus as Lord over the area and also danced on the hill. Our time there ended with Sonja and I both drunk in the Spirit again, this time on the hill in Jakomäki. kinda crazy. All this drunkenness makes me think there's a whole lot more to joy than we often experience.
The next day Ben and Steve flew back to England, was sad to say goodbye. It was also a bit of a wake up call to the fact that I was staying here in Finland. I still don't know how long I'll be here, but I feel that I have some role to play in encouraging prophetic worship and intercession here. I also feel that I need to be part of seeing the men of Finland rise up and be the men of God they're called to be.
God is definitely stirring up the church here to worship and intercession. He is bringing freedom - from religion, from passivity, and many other things. He is bringing his joy and life to this nation.
Monday, July 12, 2010
All things new
I fly to Finland on July 30th. For the first two weeks or so I'll be traveling around Finland with Steve Lincoln (from Burn 24-7 UK) and a group of Finns, many of whom I know well. I'm really excited about this trip - it will be great to see what God is doing around Finland and be a part of some of it.
After that, I've arranged to stay at a prayer house in Varisto (an area in greater Helsinki). My plan is to stay until at least the end of September, and see whether God wants me to be there longer term. At the moment I'm not exactly sure what I'd do there, and how it would work practically is again a bit of a mystery.
My life seems once again to be a lump of clay or dust, ready to be molded into something new. I've realised once again that my life is pointless without God.
I'm sure God will make something beautiful out of the dust.
After that, I've arranged to stay at a prayer house in Varisto (an area in greater Helsinki). My plan is to stay until at least the end of September, and see whether God wants me to be there longer term. At the moment I'm not exactly sure what I'd do there, and how it would work practically is again a bit of a mystery.
My life seems once again to be a lump of clay or dust, ready to be molded into something new. I've realised once again that my life is pointless without God.
I'm sure God will make something beautiful out of the dust.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
A News Update
Well, i haven't written here in a while.
I've been based in Gloucester for nearly 4 months now, and haven't done loads except some leaflet delivering for Quoakle (www.quoakle.com) and random other stuff.
It hasn't been a particularly easy time, but I am learning to walk with God in dull everyday life. This has it's challenges, and some days are better than others. But God is good, and I've been learning that Jesus needs to be my vision. I guess it comes back to learning to 'be' and not just do stuff.
During this time I've done a lot of thinking and praying about Rachel and myself. This process led to some realizations, and I came to the conclusion that it wasn't right to continue the relationship. This was a hard decision to make, but I'm certain that it was the right thing to do.
So, what next? Well, in 10 days my sister is getting married, which will be great.
I'm going with a friend to a 'Healing and Impartation conference' led by Randy Clark and John Arnott in Southampton in the middle of June.
Beyond that I'm planning on being involved with a Burn 24-7 team from the US on their visit to the UK in July.
I'm also quite sure I'll be part of a Burn 24-7 UK team going to Finland in early August. I've felt for a while that returning to Finland is my next step. So my plan at the moment is to get a one-way flight to Finland, and then explore what God might have for me to do there. It may be only for a few months, but I'm quite open to whatever God wants to do there.
So, the journey continues...
I've been based in Gloucester for nearly 4 months now, and haven't done loads except some leaflet delivering for Quoakle (www.quoakle.com) and random other stuff.
It hasn't been a particularly easy time, but I am learning to walk with God in dull everyday life. This has it's challenges, and some days are better than others. But God is good, and I've been learning that Jesus needs to be my vision. I guess it comes back to learning to 'be' and not just do stuff.
During this time I've done a lot of thinking and praying about Rachel and myself. This process led to some realizations, and I came to the conclusion that it wasn't right to continue the relationship. This was a hard decision to make, but I'm certain that it was the right thing to do.
So, what next? Well, in 10 days my sister is getting married, which will be great.
I'm going with a friend to a 'Healing and Impartation conference' led by Randy Clark and John Arnott in Southampton in the middle of June.
Beyond that I'm planning on being involved with a Burn 24-7 team from the US on their visit to the UK in July.
I'm also quite sure I'll be part of a Burn 24-7 UK team going to Finland in early August. I've felt for a while that returning to Finland is my next step. So my plan at the moment is to get a one-way flight to Finland, and then explore what God might have for me to do there. It may be only for a few months, but I'm quite open to whatever God wants to do there.
So, the journey continues...
Monday, April 12, 2010
Vision
The past few weeks haven't been great. Quite honestly, I've dropped the ball. I've let doubt and fear rule, and given in to apathy and hopelessness. With being at home, and doing nothing all day, that becomes set in quite easily unless you fight it. And that's the thing, I haven't been fighting, I've been passively accepting it.
"Where there is no vision, the people perish" (Proverbs 29:18)
And the worst thing is that I let this keep me from going to God. I began doubting that I can pray, that I can hear God, that my relationship with God was ever more than purely superficial. This is not true, but by not listening to God, I gave the enemy freedom to say whatever he wanted. I felt so distant from God. All that I long for is found in Jesus, and so not focusing on Him left me more frustrated.
Thankfully, having talked to some people, especially Rachel, I've become more aware of what I was allowing to happen. And by God's grace, the burden is lifting and I'm finding hope and love and satisfaction in Him. There are still plenty of questions about the future, but I know that being with Jesus is all that I need; He is my portion and my vision.
"Where there is no vision, the people perish" (Proverbs 29:18)
And the worst thing is that I let this keep me from going to God. I began doubting that I can pray, that I can hear God, that my relationship with God was ever more than purely superficial. This is not true, but by not listening to God, I gave the enemy freedom to say whatever he wanted. I felt so distant from God. All that I long for is found in Jesus, and so not focusing on Him left me more frustrated.
Thankfully, having talked to some people, especially Rachel, I've become more aware of what I was allowing to happen. And by God's grace, the burden is lifting and I'm finding hope and love and satisfaction in Him. There are still plenty of questions about the future, but I know that being with Jesus is all that I need; He is my portion and my vision.
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